Lavish Them With Love

My dad was pretty typical of the men of his generation. He was not very open about his feelings and emotions. That included the way he communicated with me. He didn’t seem to have much trouble telling me when he not pleased with something I did, but he rarely if ever told me that he was proud of something I had done. I knew he loved me, but somewhere in the back of my mind I always questioned if he liked me.

At my father’s funeral I was shocked as co-worker after co-worker shared with me that my Dad regularly talked about me at his workplace. They said he was so proud of me and loved to tell people about his daughter who worked on the radio. I really had no idea that he felt that way. But, shock turned to sadness as I contemplated the fact that he had never been and never would be able to say those things to me directly.

I’m not angry with my Dad. I understand why he was that way, his dad was even more distant from him. I believe that my father was doing the best he could with what he had. But, I still grieve the relationship that we could have had.

Dads, please don’t let this be your story. There is an ever-growing body of evidence that shows that a close relationship with ones father is a predictor of future success in life. And, I’ve spoken to many people, women in particular, who did not have a close relationship with their father and now struggle to understand their relationship with their heavenly father.

A great example of a father expressing love for his child is given in the bible when Jesus is baptized by John in the Jordan River. When Jesus emerges from the water his Heavenly Father announces from heaven, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

It may sound cliché…but time is fleeting. Don’t assume that your kids know you love them and are proud of them. Take time to lavish love and praise on your children every day…starting today.

Fatherly Wisdom

I recently asked some friends to tell me about the best advice their father had ever given them. Here are some nuggets of fatherly wisdom that were shared…

-When it comes to choosing a wife, you’ll know you’ve found the right one when you are better together than either of you could ever be apart.

-Never say anything you don't mean in a fight

-“There is only one way to do something…do it the RIGHT way.”

-Be true to yourself and deliver the package that you sell.

-Don't ever make fun of anyone! Instead build them up!!

-In the small decisions, consider all the factors and details. In the big decisions, follow your heart.

-Always tell the truth, even when it’s painful.

- If someone bigger than you tries to harm you pick up the closest thing you can and knock them in the head

True, a wealth of wisdom can be found in a father’s words. Our Heavenly Father is also an excellent source of advice. He delivers it to us through the scriptures. I know many people who think that the Bible is just an ancient text that is irrelevant to life today. But nothing could be further from the truth. Here are just a few timeless pieces of advice from the book of Proverbs.

-Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

- Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men.

-Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.

-A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult

-All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

-Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.

These verses all remind me of the kinds of things a parent says to their child. And, there’s a good reason for that! The Bible is an open letter from our Father, God, to us, his children. Within it we will find the answers we need to help us with whatever we are facing.

The Waiting Game

One of my family’s favorite things to do in the summertime is spend time at the pool. We all love those leisurely afternoons, playing and enjoying each other and the sunshine. There is one thing about pool days that we don’t enjoy, however. And, that is the frustrating task of covering 3 impatient kids and their equally impatient parents in sunscreen.

I usually try to get everyone slathered up before we ever leave the house, but sometimes I forget and have to do it when we get to the pool. This creates a major problem! First of all there’s the inevitable argument about who gets lotioned-up first. After all, the kids are excited and anxious to get in the pool and now they have to wait for me to cover each of them and then another 15 minutes to let the sunscreen sink in before they jump in. In those 15 minutes I hear the question, “Mom, is it time yet?” or “How Much Longer” at least 100 times. I know it feels like torture to them, and I wish as much as they do that they could just jump it right away. But, it’s for their own good. I don’t want them to have to endure the painful sunburn that they will undoubtedly suffer if we don’t give the sunscreen time to set. Someday, they’ll understand.

Have you been praying for something and get the feeling that God is putting you off? Are you frustrated that he keeps making you wait when you want it NOW? Remember that God loves you deeply and he wants what is best for you. He also sees the consequences of answering your prayer before the time is right. If he is making you wait, I can assure you that it is for your own good. When we wait on the Lord with faith and patience we are rewarded in many ways. Listen to this verse form Isaiah 40:31-But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

So, be encouraged today, knowing that your patience will be rewarded. Just like my kids, waiting for that reward is often necessary to prevent us from getting burned.

Putting the Thrill in "Thrill Ride"

/08One or twice a summer, my family heads to Carowinds in Charlotte for a stomach churning day filled with roller coasters, log flumes, wave pools and water slides. On one of these trips a few years ago, my son Andrew had grown tall enough to enjoy the parks most thrilling rides. As soon as we got to Carowinds, he and my husband headed straight for a coaster called Top Gun, the parks tallest and fastest ride.

It was about 2.5 seconds into the ride when my husband had the panic attack. It wasn’t because the ride scared him…but when he looked over at our young son (who was grinning ear to ear by the way), Alton began to wonder if Andrew was really big enough for the ride. Was he actually secured in his harness? Could he fall out? By the time the ride was over, my poor husband could barely breathe. He was so weak in the knees that he had to sit down for a few minutes just to compose himself. Not from excitement but from pure and utter fear.

Andrew, on the other hand was ready to do it again. And, once he realized that he and his son were safe and that he could trust the harness system on the ride, Alton was ready to take on Top Gun again as well. From that point on they have turned into roller coaster junkies…the bigger, higher and faster, the better.

When we put our trust in Jesus, we have to examine how much of our life we have actually entrusted Him with. If we approach our walk with Jesus with the same apprehension that Alton felt on that first ride with Andrew, our life will be consumed by fear and worry. However, we can learn to trust that Jesus is in control and that my family and I are completely safe in his care.

In Matthew 11:29, Jesus offers this invitation, “Place my yoke over your shoulders, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble. Then you will find rest for yourselves.”
Like a roller coaster, life can be crazy, filled with ups, downs and moments of anticipation, acceleration and exhilleration. Place His yoke, His “safety harness” over your shoulders so you can rest and enjoy the ride.

Heavenly Hilton

From heaven even the most miserable life will look like one bad night at an inconvenient hotel -- Teresa of Avila
Do you enjoy staying at a hotel? I do. But, ev en lodging at a really nice hotel for a lengthy stay can get old. Eventually, you need something you don’t have or you long for a home cooked meal and even the perk of daily maid service is no longer enough to keep you from wanting to go home.

Our lives are a bit like hotel rooms. Maybe, right now, you are living in the Ritz Carlton. Your room is luxurious and beautiful, all your needs are being met, and the 900 thread count sheets are fab-u-lous! On the other hand, our life today might feel a bit more like an El-Cheapo Motel. Like you’re stuck in a grungy, smelly room where nothing works right and the manager is no where to be found to deal with your complaints. And, what just crawled across the floor?

Either way, whether you feel like you are at the Ritz or in the Pits, it’s a good idea to remember that this life is not really your home. Listen to what Jesus said in John 14:2-3 In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

So, if you’re struggling with life today, try to remember that this life is just temporary lodging. You have a permanent residence in waiting for you in heaven that is so marvelous your human mind cannot even begin to imagine it.

In Better Hands

I met someone last week who is the personification of the song “In Better Hands” by Natalie Grant and its powerful lyrics. His name is Harold and he serves breakfast at the restaurant in the Nashville Hilton.

Harold is from the southern part of Louisiana. A few days before Hurricane Katrina hit, he and his family decided to leave the area for safety’s sake. Harold, his wife and their 2 children packed up a few changes of clothes and other necessities. Concerned about possible flooding, Harold wrapped up pictures, valuables and other irreplaceable items and tucked them away in his attic between the rafters. They then traveled a few hundred miles away by car to get out of the path of the storm.

Thankfully he and his family escaped injury. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of their home. They returned to find their house destroyed. All their belongings, including the pictures and valuables tucked away in the attic were now buried somewhere under the 5 feet of putrid sludge that filled what was left of their home. The worst part of all, however, was losing his Mother and Mother-in-Law who both died as a result of the storm.

Harold said that his insurance company, you know, the one that says that you’re in good hands when you’re insured by them, found a technicality in the fine print of his policy allowing them to refuse to cover his losses.

I asked Harold how he held together through it all. He simply pointed heavenward. He said that he had to be strong for his kids and his wife during it all and that strength came from God. Several churches pulled together to help provide his family with the necessities until they could get back on their feet. And, now, three years later, thanks be to God, his life is finally starting to return to a new state of normal.

So, whose hands hold your life? There is only one set of hands prepared to carry you through the difficult times we are all eventually bound to face. Natalie’s song says it well, “I am strong all because of you. I stand in awe of every mountain that you move. I am changed, yesterday is gone. I am safe from this moment on. There’s no fear when the night comes round, I’m in better hands now”

Emptying the Bank

As anyone with multiple kids knows, children spawned from the same exact set of parents often live on completely opposite ends of the personality spectrum. This is true for my kids…especially when it comes to money. One of my kids has gotten his impulse spending under control and has managed to accumulate quite a savings account. Another child is just beginning to understand money management, but she knows that it’s a good thing to have!

And, then there’s our Middle Child, who, at the ripe old age of 9, seems to understand the joy of giving. At Christmas, she often empties out the “spending” portion of her bank, goes to the dollar store, and spends all of her hard earned money on gifts for family, friends and teachers.

Here’s what she doesn’t know. Whenever I find loose change while I’m picking up around the house or doing the laundry, I put it in Carley’s bank. I don’t do it because I love her more than our other children (although they’d accuse me of that if they knew what I was up to). I do it because I want to quietly reward her generosity. Besides, I know she will be a good steward of the money I give her.

It occurred to me recently that God blesses us financially in much the same way. When we have a generous heart, giving freely to others, He freely gives to us. When we’re good stewards of our resources, he knows He can trust us with more. And, when we tithe, even though doing so will “empty our bank”, He is always faithful in providing us with what we need.

Look at this verse from Corinthians: 2 Corinthians 9:7-8
Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Take time today to thank God for His assurance that we can trust you with everything, including our money. Ask Him to give you the faith to be generous in giving, even when there is risk involved